Stolen

Thursday, October 21^st

Immediately after morning meditation, Prema and I set off to the German Cafe for breakfast and discuss our immediate plans. I am set to leave Rishikesh next week for Pune and she is think to continue on here for the next several weeks. Her nomadic life style gives her the freedom to go or stay as her spirit moves her. I have decided to take the train from Haridwar to Pune, which will be a forty hour journey. I am excited at the prospect as I am told that it is an adventure all by itself. And this will give me material for my blog, as I must keep my handful of followers engaged.

After the meal we took a rickshaw into the town of Rishikesh to change money at the bank. The ATM machines are often out of service, and so sometimes you have to try two three banks in order to withdrew money. Today we were in luck and got the needed cash from the first machine we tried. Then we headed to the vegetable market to buy fruit and sweets for the final day of the retreat.

There as a buzz of activity at the ashram, as half of the group would be leaving after dinner, to drive through the night to arrive in Delhi for an early morning departure. I joined in the group discussion and said my good byes to Musette and the others who were heading back to Denmark and Norway. Angelo was headed to the local travel agent, and I decided to accompany him to purchase my train ticket to Pune, as the tickets must be purchased at least a week in advance, if you have any hope of getting an air conditioned car.

I went to my room to off load my packages and when I reached for my purse to put the money away it was not there. I was stunned. I tipped the contents of the bag onto my bed and with a sinking heart I realized that I had been robbed. My purse contained $400.00 mostly in rupee, and my credit card and bank card. How had I not missed it. Mentally, I scrambled through what I could recall of my movements and I still could not fathom where or how I had lost the purse.

I dashed back out to the lobby and alerted the staff as to what had happened. Sridhar who was on hand loaned me his cellphone and I immediately cancelled my cards. The bank promised to send me a replacement bank card here, but it will be at least a week before I receive it. I have no money and no means of getting money, and this engenders a terrible feeling of powerlessness. Musette, on hearing about my predicament, pressed her last thousand rupee into my hand. I am close to tears.

I suddenly remember that I may have money stashed away with my passport and I return to my room to find that I do in fact have a hundred dollars set aside. I am relieved as this will be enough to see me through till the bank card arrives. In my haste, I have forgotten to close the windows and the light now flooding the room is a magnet for all kinds of insects which descend upon me in a massive swarm. It is the final straw, I begin to scream in my mind, but I cannot find the resource to shed the tears that threaten.

Everyone extends their commiserations, and this simply makes things worse. Now I am carrying the guilt of making others feel bad on my behalf and I struggle to muster up a smile. Full of self pity I wonder if this the measure of the blessing promised me for my seva of blood sweat and tears. It seems a cruel joke and only the gods of fate could have conspired to this end. I am at a complete loss. I apply my energies to trying to unravel the series of events leading up to this disaster, it is a pointless endeavor, and eventually I conceded defeat.

Dinner is for me a somber affair, and I cannot even register the taste of the food. I try to join in the conversation, but I fail miserably. Once we have waved goodbye to the departing group, I find refuge in my room. I recalled the words of a friend who on learning that I would be traveling to India, cautioned me to be aware that “you don't do India, India does you!” These words rang all too true.

Nothing is going to plan. I am stuck here in Rishikesh for an unforeseen period of time. I kick myself for my stupidity. Certain that this could have been averted if I had not somehow been careless. Self recrimination doesn't alter my dilemma, but it gives me somewhere to direct my anger.

Ever the pragmatist, Sridhar advised me to calm my mind and simply accept what has happened as a lesson. His words fall like heavy stones. What lesson could this possibly hold for me. It is simply a bitter twist of fate. The search for meaning would be but another useless endeavor. Sleep comes easily, and I enter its embrace with welcome relief.